


I'm In Love (With A Fairytale)

by dimeliora



Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Fairy Godparents, M/M, Rimming, Tentacle Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-31
Updated: 2014-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-10 16:01:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1161743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dimeliora/pseuds/dimeliora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared Padalecki is blessed as a baby. Which means for most of his life Jared Padalecki has been cursed. Right until he happens to haul an angry man with tentacles out of the ocean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm In Love (With A Fairytale)

**Author's Note:**

> This was done for the LJ Reverse bang, and the art is by the talented and lovely Machidieles, whose work can be seen directly here: http://machidieles.livejournal.com/2902.html

When Geri and Sherri Padalecki realized they were pregnant for the second time they were overjoyed. Even Jeff, already walking at that point, was excited by the idea of a little sister or brother. The entire Padalecki clan began planning from the moment the little stick told them they should. Choosing a godmother wasn’t the first thing on Sherri’s list, but it was fairly high. The discussion didn’t last long, and Geri agreed that Samantha Ferris, Sherri’s best friend despite her slightly eccentric behavior, was the best choice.

And in a way it was. Samantha loved the Padaleckis, was devoted to the idea of them being a healthy and happy family, and would have done almost anything for them. Which was how she found herself being a godmother again for the first time in a hundred and thirteen years.

Did Sherri Padalecki know she’d chosen an actual Fairy to be her child’s godmother? Absolutely not. Otherwise it probably would have gone a little bit better. She would have known, for example, that Samantha was now required to give little Jared something, and that in giving him that thing she would have to take other things away. Because it was all about balance, and no matter how much she loved the Padaleckis and the newborn Jared, Samantha could not support any imbalance.

Which brought about a new problem, in the form of Samantha no longer knowing what it was that parent’s wished for their children. Once upon a time it was simple, power and prestige, but these days all of that meant something else entirely. She could make Jared a CEO, or a politician, but those things were fleeting and would require a ridiculous amount of attention to keep going.

So Samantha went to all three baby showers, listened closely to every guest’s opinion on the future of the newest Padalecki, and received varying reports of what modern mothers wanted for their darling children. By the end of the third she was fairly certain she’d have to make her godson both the president of a corporation _and_ the nation before he retired at twenty-five to his island. Her magic was powerful, but even it had limits.

And then, as things often worked out for the Fairy Folk, at the last second Sherri herself solved the mystery.

“I just hope he has a fairytale love. Something that’ll make him truly happy for his whole life.”

_That_ , Samantha could do. So when the baby was born, great big eyes blinked up at her as she placed a kiss on his smooth forehead and blessed him with a magical romance.

And cursed everything else.

 

\----

 

At twenty-one Jared Padalecki had held over sixteen jobs. Each one had ended in hilarious failure, which was basically the story of his life at this point.  Between small fires, mistaken identities, and one still infamous event involving six ducks and a CEO’s office Jared had yet to make any headway into the “getting a career” aspect of adulthood. In fact, the furthest he’d made it was knowing he didn’t belong in an enclosed office space and he didn’t have a chance with co-workers that didn’t have a rather bizarre sense of humor.

His mother said he was special, his father said he was unique, his brother and sister said he was cursed. Jared was fairly certain the last was true. If it wasn’t enough that he couldn’t seem to fit in anywhere, didn’t have a chance of holding down one of any number of respectable positions, and had trouble keeping to schedules weird things had a habit of happening around him.

When he was a boy it seemed perfect. Jared found that he never tripped in the dark or feared the monster under his bed because whenever he needed it there was light. Lost things would turn up easily, campfires started on the first try, and he never got caught in the rain because he always knew when the storm was coming.

And all of that was great, except Jared didn’t realize until it was too late that it wasn’t normal either. In fact, his introduction to the world of “socially acceptable norms” came in the second grade when he happily told another student that if they really hated the dark that much they should just use their sparks. It was the end of his chances at making friends. The suburb of San Antonio they lived in wasn’t large enough for him to meet another kid that didn’t know about that “freak” Jared Padalecki.

He had tried to make friends on the internet once that was a thing, all his classmates talked about their chatroom buddies, but technology didn’t particularly care for Jared either. Computers crashed, photocopiers shorted out, and microwaves exploded quite spectacularly. It was another hindrance to his holding down a good job. Fortunately he found that heartier electronics, older cars, ovens, HVAC units, seemed safe from the Jared curse. Unfortunately that meant much of modern society was off limits to him. While a landline would only crackle in his presence a cell phone had a snowball’s chance in hell of living after he touched it.

This had insured that his younger years were full of taunting and awkwardness, capped off by an intensely unpleasant year at college where he was unable to sit in a room full of laptops without being consumed by guilt when they all crashed. His research papers were limited to what he could find in the library and if his professors had online components to their classes he was completely unable to keep up. After the second semester he left with a mediocre grade point average and an intense malaise.

So from there Jared had gone through a series of jobs that didn’t require anything more than a high school diploma, and each one had ended badly until he landed a position piloting a small boat through the Gulf of Mexico and trawling for shrimp. It was hard work, the days were long and lonely, but he liked being in the sun and the ocean was glorious.

More importantly there were no co-workers to give him funny looks, and the old engine on the boat didn’t care what his magical sparks did. All in all it was a sweet gig, and Jared got a pretty good haul every day and had a healthy tan and good stories to send home.

He could pay for a small apartment close enough to the ocean to hear it, he ate well, and his neighbors were incredibly reclusive and never bothered him. Everything in Jared’s life wasn’t necessarily great, but it wasn’t as terrible as it once was. It was predictable, maybe a little boring, and certainly not what he’d imagined as a boy.

There were still issues, tiny things that added up over the weeks and months until sometimes Jared wanted to scream at the universe for thinking he was such an excellent dumping ground, but he knew that honestly a big part of that was simply the loneliness.

And all of that was the status quo, the way that Jared was used to living. Until the day he pulled the octopus man out of the ocean.

\----

 

There wasn’t a single hint that today would be any different than any other day. Jared rose before the sun, guzzled coffee as he headed for the door, and managed to remember right before he got in the truck to go back and put on actual pants.

The chop was low, and that meant clear water and hiding shrimp. On days like this Jared headed out into deeper water and cast his nets low. Today, with the sun out and the breeze weak he honestly felt like slacking off just enough to not threaten his livelihood without tiring himself. Which meant casting, and then setting his trawler to the lowest speed possible before slumping down behind the wheel and staring off into space.

It was the perfect plan, and nothing else was necessary until the pull of the boat indicated a load of shrimp that needed to be emptied. Which Jared knew would be at least an hour if he did it right.

Or fifteen minutes when his trawler suddenly jerked backwards and the lines attached to his nets pulled taught before the engine gave a low squeal as it tugged against more resistance than it was used to. Jared leapt up, dashed to the rig, and started the reel in manually as his boat valiantly fought against its haul.

Either he had hit the motherload of shrimp, or he’d inexplicably caught a shark. If it was the second one there was a fine chance he’d have to cut his net and lose everything. Which would be just his luck.

Slowly, so slowly, the net reached the boat and lifted above the edge of the water before revealing a massive amount of tentacles snapping around and displacing a very small number of shrimp. He took a deep breath, pulled the net all the way onto the deck, and then popped the release so the net would drop its load into the hold.

_That_ was the moment that Jared saw it in its totality. Long, thick tentacles tapering to delicate points and lined with suckers from the tips to the thick bases where they joined a trunk that changed from a delicate bluish-grey into a pale and creamy white. The white was the beginning of human skin, a torso lightly freckled and fairly toned, leading up to two small brown nipples and a defined clavicle, beyond a neck, two shoulders and two well-muscled arms, and on top of the whole confusing arrangement a very human head. Octopus man. Man octopus? Did that fall under the rules of mermen? Was this a merman?

Jared leaned forward, studied the head attached to the foreign body, and found himself breathless at the sight of more freckles liberally spread across the most handsome face he’d ever seen. Long eyelashes, almost girly, were fanned over one pale and soft looking cheek, and the short light brown hair was wet and tousled. Jared reached out, touched that cheek, and found it cold and damp, almost clammy, but certainly very much _real_.

The eyes snapped open, golden-green and just as beautiful as the face that contained them. Jared’s hand lingered, fingers still pressed against flesh, and he smiled and spoke softly so as not to scare the creature.

“Hello Mr. Merman, my name is Jared.”

A strong tentacle lashed out and wrapped around his wrist before wrenching his hand away and spreading searing pain up his arm and down into the nerves in his fingers.

“I am not a merman _jackass._ ”

 

\----

 

The trip home was much more difficult than the trip out. Part of that was the cussing and spitting sea creature/man in Jared’s hold, and part was the fact that his wrist didn’t care much for bending. He didn’t think it was broken, but it was swollen and there were a number of sucker shaped burns lining the skin and telling him what a huge mistake he had made thinking that the guy (thing?) would be friendly.

Shore was reached after sundown, and Jared looked around the empty dock before he stepped up to his hold and crouched down  close enough to the edge to avoid getting hit in the face with tentacles, but still be heard without shouting.

“Listen, here’s the thing, I need to get you from here to my truck and I don’t want to get burned in the process. So we’re gonna make a deal where I help you, and you don’t try to hurt me. We understood?”

Green eyes peered up into his light, and then narrowed down before the deep voice rumbled its way up through the echoing hold.

“I have a better deal. Release me back into the sea and I will not snap your delicate little neck.”

Jared’s hand strayed without thought. “My neck ain’t delicate dude. It’s actually pretty thick and that-“

“Release me, idiot!”

His lips pursed, and then Jared shifted the light so that his expression would be fully visible to the angry thing in his hold.

“Let me re-word that then. Your options are I take you home and you comply, or I leave you in this hold in the dark until you feel a little bit more cooperative. Which one of those sounds better to you?”

Silence reigned supreme for long enough Jared was pretty sure the thing was waiting him out, and then just as he was reaching for the hold door the voice came again.

“Fine. How do I help?”

Thirty minutes, and apparently an unacceptable amount of tentacle groping, later Jared had the creature loaded onto the hand truck he used to cart his haul. The creature stayed silent through the trip from the boat to the apartment, and once there they found a way to work together to get him over the threshold and into the bathroom. The creature was literally pouting as Jared filled his fortunately large bathtub, one of the original draws towards renting here, and then poured salt into it.

After getting him out of the hold and back to the apartment actually loading the guy into the water was no trouble at all, but Jared somehow got a fairly shallow cut on his cheek and what he was pretty sure was a wrenched back. Still, sitting on his closed toilet and panting Jared surveyed his work with a certain sense of satisfaction.

Which was the exact moment it occurred to him that he had no idea why he’d brought the thing home against its will, what it was, or even what he should call it.

He licked his lips, cast his gaze around the little bathroom, and then summoned up the courage to try again at conversation.

“So, uh, what’s your name?”

Green eyes tightened up and perfectly pink lips pursed in displeasure.

“Is that what you ask all of your victims after you entrap them in stone prisons?”

“Stone-what the-oh the tub? Dude, that thing’s like, I dunno, porcelain or something. Definitely not stone. If I had a marble tub I’d be making enough money to have a little more space.”

“Be quiet. Either kill me or release me. I’m tired of your prattle.”

He couldn’t help the grin. He was the son of an English teacher.

“Hey, look at that, y’all got contractions under the sea.”

 A tentacle slapped Jared’s face, and he ended up having to leave the bathroom as the creature struck out harder and further.

 

\---

 

Somewhere around two A.M., after several furtive trips outside to pee, Jared was on the couch when the slamming sound started up. He cautiously stuck his head in the door and just managed to miss a flying tentacle.

“Feed me!”

Jared blinked several times, looked around at the destruction of his bathroom, and then took a deep and calming breath to hold back from returning the tone. After all, he had kidnapped the guy without any explanation and dragged him into an unfamiliar world, and that would stress anybody out.

“Ok. I can do that, but why don’t you tell me what you like to eat?”

The creature blinked, shrugged, and spoke slowly as if to a very small and not terribly bright child. “Katkarapu.”

“What?”

“Katkarapu. _Katkarapu_. The meal I was attempting to enjoy before you captured me and brought me to this Gods forsaken place.”

“Hey man, I mean I know it ain’t fancy but this is a pretty good apartment. I don’t think you gotta knock it every few seconds to-“

“I am hungry you prattling fool! Shut your mouth and bring me food!”

Jared stumbled back to avoid the next strike and then tried to think through the whole thing logically. It took entirely too long for him to put together that whatever the word the creature was using it meant _shrimp_ , and Jared had plenty of those. More than he would ever eat, and honestly more than he cared to. Trawling for shrimp was a fine way to lose your taste for them.

Afraid of cooking the things and getting yelled at Jared brought them in raw, and held the bowl out cautiously and as far from his body as possible in the hopes that it wouldn’t earn him another strike. His hope finally paid off when the creature simply lifted the bowl with one tentacle and passed it into his own waiting hands.

His eating habits weren’t pretty, but Jared was a messy eater too, so he didn’t terribly mind. He sat back down on the toilet and watched for a while before trying his hand at conversation again.

“So, listen I know that this is probably scary for-“

“It is not frightening for me. I am not frightened. I am _angry_ that you thought it was alright to catch me in a net and bring me to…whatever this place is. I am tired of your nonsense. I am pleased you are so easily injured, but I am not frightened in the least. You will either kill me or state your demands and set me free.”

“De-demands?”

Green flared hot and bright.

“You did not capture Jensen, the Prince of the Western Seas, without some purpose human. State it and allow us to move on.”

“You’re a prince? Dude that is awesome! I never met a prince before. I did meet the governor once when I was a little kid but he was pretty far away and as soon as I approached the microphone-“

“Wait. Quiet. You didn’t know who I was?”

Jared blinked several times, ran the conversation back through his head, and then nodded seriously.

“Yeah man, that’s what I’m saying. I had no idea. I don’t even know _what_ you technically are, since merman seems to be so offensive to you.”

Jensen, and what a nice name that was, puffed up from his previously slumped position and met Jared’s gaze completely.

“If you had no idea who or what I was why did you bring me into this place?”

Jared licked his lips, felt the flush building, and tried to remember how to effectively lie to strangers.

“Well, uh, you see that’s a funny story. I just sort of, um, I just sort of did?”

“Did what?”

“Bring you here? I mean it wasn’t really a plan so much as, uh, like a split-second decision. I wanted to, um, I saw you and I wanted to know more about you so I brought you back?”

“Is that a question or a statement?”

“Um. Statement. I think.”

Jensen nodded, face thoughtful and serious, and then a tentacle whipped out and slapped Jared hard enough in the midsection to drive the air out of him.

“Return me foolish man before I end your miserable life!”

Jared swallowed, looked around, and then steeled his reserve.

“No.”

 

\----

 

Two days of the silent treatment, and Jared was going out of his mind. As reclusive as his neighbors were he was fairly certain that a man shouting for help in his bathroom would be noticed, and there was no guarantee that if he left Jensen wouldn’t try something like that.

But two days of not catching anything was seriously detrimental to his already thin wallet, and that meant Jared had to figure out what to do to calm his…prisoner before he could go out on the sea for the day. Conversation wasn’t working, Jensen had smashed his ancient television set two seconds after it turned on, and books were simply shredded and strewn over the floor.

In the absence of anything else Jared found himself sitting on the toilet with a deck of cards in his hands, idly shuffling as he watched Jensen glare at him. It was the most meaningful interaction they’d had since he refused to let him go.

And apparently, Jensen was at his limit too.

“Why, why will you not release me? You have no reason to keep me, and unless you’ve suddenly come up with demands there’s no benefit to continuing my imprisonment.”

Jared licked his lips, flipped a card, stared at it for a long moment, and then made a decision.

“Watch this.” He concentrated, and the sparks lifted the card out of his hand and carried it over to float before Jensen.

There was silence again, one that held less disdain and hate, and then Jensen’s face changed in a way that made Jared’s heart beat triple time and his hold on the card falter.

A smile. Jensen’s smile was bright, wide, and crinkled the skin around his eyes as he reached out and ran his hand through the sparks before carefully plucking the card out of the air and studying it.

“You are a Taikuri! The Vetehinen have lost this skill. Show me more.”

“I’m a what?”

Jensen’s face crinkled for a moment before he seemed to find what he wanted.

“A user of magics. Once my people all had this ability, but not since we crossed the seas to come here to the West.”

Jared considered the card for a moment before reaching out and taking it back. “And you guys used to like that? Being…takiries?”

“Taikuri. And yes. It was a valuable and honorable profession. Without it our numbers have dwindled. We have had to adapt to newer hunting methods and tools for survival. I was not aware your kind could use magic.”

“Far as I know? We can’t. At least I ain’t never met anyone who could, or who thought it was a good thing.”

Jensen’s smile disappeared, and he continued to study the card instead of looking up.

“What a stupid group of creatures you are. Every encounter with your kind lowers my opinion a bit more.”

He laughed, and the reaction apparently surprised Jensen enough he fumbled the playing card into the water before getting a real handle on it and making eye contact.

“You find me calling your entire race stupid amusing?”

Jared shrugged, laughter finally tapering off. “It’s true a lot of times. Plus, I can’t take offense to something I agree too.”

Jensen hesitated, card held stiffly in his fingers, and then he held it out with that smile that hit Jared like a high-dose stimulant.

“At least we agree on something.”

 

\----

“You were not wearing these leashes when we first met. Why are you wearing them now?” One of Jensen’s tentacles was tugging on Jared’s necktie, another one brushing along his ankle before grasping on what Jared was beginning to believe was some kind of reflex, and the rest rubbing mechanically along the walls of the tub as if feeling for some flaw in the structure.

“Well you said you were a prince.”

Jensen frowned thoughtfully, tugged the tie loose and then released it even as the tentacle just brushing his ankle tightened into a hold.

“I do not understand. Are you my servant now? My pet? You never listen to my commands.”

Jared couldn’t help his laughter; a thing he found was common around Jensen.

“No. It means I’m dressing up to impress you.”

Jensen looked down at his bare chest, then back up at Jared’s necktie and vest.

“Dressing up?”

“Putting on special clothes. It’s what you do in certain situations. Especially when you’re meeting royalty.”

“So it is to please me?”

Jared nodded, fanned out the deck and used his magic to lift Jensen’s hand and carry it over to him. Jensen plucked the cards from the air, smile bright as it always was when Jared used his abilities.

“Well, if it is simply to please me then I preferred the clothing you wore before. This is bulky and looks uncomfortable. The other shirts and the blue pants allowed me to properly see the lines of your body.”

He felt his face light up, unsure if Jensen was innocently stating a fact or making a comment that had more heat and weight. It had been a month since Jensen arrived. They’d struck up a sort of friendship. Somehow knowing that Jared could do magic made Jensen less eager to flee him, and the result was a flood of questions about everything in Jared’s life and society.

Jensen was curious about everything, and Jared was sad he couldn’t show him any TV shows, but despite only being able to buy the oldest, bulkiest sets on the market Jared didn’t have the disposable income to pick up a new set. He could, on the other hand, recount entire episodes he had seen of reruns.

Sometimes Jared simply sat in the bathroom and read books or newspapers aloud to Jensen. He brought in a globe to explain where things were and where Jensen had relocated to. They even figured out that Jensen’s people originally came from somewhere near Finland, and that was enormously exciting for Jensen.

Oddly enough though, of all the things Jared had taught him and shown him, Jensen’s favorite was Go Fish. Even though he could never get the title right.

“Do you have any twos?”

Jensen extended the card, smile bright and vivid, and Jared reached out slowly with his magic and took it, trying to lengthen the time he was exposed to Jensen’s bright smile.

“Do you have any kings?”

Jared lifted it with magic, floated it over, and then relaxed back against the back of the toilet and watched Jensen pluck it from the air gleefully.

“Any jacks?”

Jensen leaned back himself, tentacle still rubbing gently along Jared’s ankle, sliding underneath his pants leg and brushing gently along his skin. Apparently he didn’t cause burns when he didn’t want to.

“Retrieve dinner.”

 

 

 

 

\-----

 

“I don’t want you to leave.”

Jensen, Prince of the Vetehinen, was _whining_. Jared’s heart swelled irrationally.

“Well, I understand that, but you got a big stomach and you like it full. To keep it that way I gotta work Jensen.”

A long pause, and then a sly smile crossed Jensen’s face. “You’re going to catch shrimp?”

“Yes. I am going to catch shrimp. As I explained to you several times already.”

“Then I should go along too. I’m an excellent hunter. I could bring back much more than you usually do.”

The swelling died down, killed by the sudden chill. Jared tried to make it a joke.

“I let you out in the water and I’ll never see your greedy ass again.”

Jensen lifted one eyebrow, lips moving silently before he seemed to find the proper words.

“What is an ass?”

“It’s a-well shit you don’t have one. Uh.” He turned and pointed, and then jumped about six feet as one tentacle rested gently against the curve of his left cheek. “Jesus Jensen!”

“Just Jensen or Prince Jensen please, this other title doesn’t apply to me. What is this for?”

“Do you remember that time you asked me how I lay eggs or fertilize them without tentacles and I told you I had to be drunk to answer that question?”

“Yes.”

“This is another one of those questions.”

“Well then, if you refuse to bring me to improve your catch bring home that amber liquid that makes you answer questions and act like a fool. I am intrigued by the purpose of ass.”

Jared’s face burned through the rest of the day and he stammered his way through buying tequila.

 

\----

“So functions _and_ fun. See? Functions and fun.”

Jared couldn’t remember if Jensen was helping him with the tequila bottle, but he did know it was mostly empty and he was slumped against the side of Jensen’s tub with a porn magazine clutched in one hand and a trembling finger pointing out where the two men in the picture connected. This had seemed more academic and less skeevy in his head.

“So when human men mate they do so in the ass?”

“Well, there’s more ways than that, but yeah boiling it down I guess.”

“You boil when you mate?”

“No dude it’s a saying. Like-ah fuck like a saying. Where you say things. It’s just words that mean a different thing.”

“How do you indicate that you wish to invade another man’s ass?”

Jared choked on his tequila as Jensen gently patted his back.

“What?”

“It is tradition amongst my people to present the best of the hunt to the one you wish to mate. The better the prize the more likely you are to win the object of your affection. How do humans do this?”

There wasn’t enough tequila in the world for this, let alone in his system, and despite the pleasant fuzz that had taken over reality Jared still felt the oncoming shame and desolation of explaining this and possibly giving himself away.

“You do nice things for them. Take them on dates and shit. Bring them stuff and listen to them.”

“What is a date?”

“Um, it’s an activity like, like you go dancing or see a movie. Dinner’s pretty popular.”

“That sounds very difficult and time-consuming.”

“Well it’s a-I mean there’s a system to-that’s the way it is man. What do you want me to say?”

Jensen was silent for a long time, eyes focused on the page of the magazine, and then one tentacle plucked it out of Jared’s hand and another gripped his chin and turned his face.

“We have had dinner together. And done activities.”

There was an intensity there Jared hadn’t seen since those first days when Jensen was practically a beast destroying everything that he came in contact with.

“Y-yeah?”

“The man taking the other man’s ten-penis flushes the way you do when you look at me. Is that significant Jared?”

Not enough tequila in the universe.

“I’m sorry Jensen I just-“

And everything else was cut off by the press of Jensen’s lips to his, hard and demanding, a hand tangling in his hair while the tentacle on his face stroked and petted. It was bizarre, insane, and the hottest thing Jared had ever experienced. He gave in, let Jensen take control, and his lips were parted before Jensen’s tongue invaded his mouth.

If it was a fairy tale Jared knew this would be the moment the music would swell, the differences between them would melt away, and all that would be left was their perfect love and devotion as they gazed brightly into each other’s eyes.

But this was real life, and in real life Jared was naked except for his shirt, in a cramped tub, and being explored by a pair of hands and a group of tentacles as Jensen kept stealing his breath and offering nothing in its place.

What did you call multiple tentacles? Was there a name? And what did you call it when one was wrapped around your dick pulsing rhythmically and making every time you’d jerked off seem ridiculously unpleasant in comparison?

Maybe too much tequila.

And everything was good until one of the tentacles attempted to breach him, and Jared had to break the kiss and pull back.

“Stretch. You gotta stretch it.” He was breathless, unsure that Jensen knew what was happening here, and unable to deal with the guilt of that until after an orgasm came, because Jesus he’d never been this wound up before.

“Stretch it? I hardly have to reach for your hole Jared.” Jensen was flushed too, eyes dark and lips slick with spit. Jared couldn’t stop the giddy laughter that escaped him.

“No my-never mind. Watch.” And then he reached back, slipped a finger in, and started to work himself open awkwardly as he went back to kissing Jensen.

Whether or not Jensen could actually see was inconsequential to the odd pleasure of feeling Jensen’s tentacles exploring what he was doing while Jensen went back to controlling their kiss, and then the very tip of one breached him and worked in time with his fingers while the pressure on his cock increased.

“Jesus. Jesus, Jensen that’s- fuck that’s amazing.”

“Again. Not my name.” Jared’s fingers left entirely, and then Jensen was sliding into him, swelling and pulsing as Jared was stretched to the point of pain and totally immersed in Jensen. Tentacles held his hips, moved him in counterpoint to the thrusting of Jensen’s tentacle, and the pull on his dick, and the whole time Jensen kept up the kissing, kept Jared on edge and crazy with it.

“Please, please, please. Jensen, please.”

This time it was Jensen that laughed, throaty and breathless, and then Jared’s face was pressed against Jensen’s neck, Jensen’s hand tangled in his hair as his voice reverberated through Jared’s body.

“Let go. Let go Jared and let me bring you to completion. My lovely little man.”

And the hilarity of being called little was forgotten instantly when more tentacle slid into him, filled him beyond belief, and Jensen’s tentacle twisted just right tip brushing against the head of his cock, and then Jared was coming, tightening on Jensen’s tentacle and crying out as his whole body arched and jerked at the force of his orgasm.

Jensen came moments later, liquid heat filling Jared as the tentacles wrapped around him stiffened and crushed the breath from him, and then it was just the two of them in the water, Jared being held and Jensen breathing fast and shallow.

“I love you Jensen.”

The silence that came back to him indicated it was definitely too much tequila.

\----

 

The sex kept happening, but Jared stopped saying I love you after the first disastrous time. It was ok though, because more likely than not that would come with time. They had everything else. Jensen was perfect. Everything Jared had ever wanted was currently residing in his tub, laughing at his jokes and talking to him about just about anything.

And if there was a strange tension in Jensen’s eyes when Jared described human romance, or a faltering in the movement of his tentacles when Jared relaxed against him in their own form of snuggling? Well that was something they’d work through.

Jared didn’t mind showering down at the beach anymore, the exhaustion of hauling back ocean water to fill the tub, wasn’t concerned with how much money he was losing feeding half his haul to Jensen, and was almost ready to tell his parents and his godmother that he had found the one. As soon as he figured out how to convince Jensen that he was the one.

Except he couldn’t seem to do it. Not in the afterglow of the sex, not during the relaxed conversations, and not when they sat silently eating together. There was never a right time, and Jared started to wonder if the block wasn’t so much Jensen as himself. And then it hit him.

There wasn’t trust.

Jared had locked Jensen in his bathroom, stuck him in a tub and left him there, and refused every time Jensen had asked to come with him on the boat. If he was honest with himself, he kind of hoped that the reason Jensen was so intent on coming with was that he wanted to fulfill the mating ritual he had outlined to Jared. To offer Jared the best prize of his hunt, because hadn’t he said the first time that he was an excellent hunter?

“I was thinking you could come with me out on the boat tomorrow. If we left early enough nobody would see you.”

Silence reigned supreme, and then Jensen’s fingers tangled with Jared’s, and a small smile graced those perfect lips.

“I would like that very much Jared.”

His own smile was overwhelming, probably too big and bright, but hope wasn’t a thing Jared had experienced much since he’d finished elementary school. He’d been unlucky in every aspect of his life minus family, and it seemed like for once something was breaking his way.

“Good. Then we roll out first thing in the morning.”

“Is that another phrase I don’t know?”

“No I’m gonna load you on the dolly again, because you’re way too heavy for my poor old back.”

A tentacle lightly slapped the back of his head, and then Jensen was kissing him.

Maybe he should have sensed it, felt the change in the pressure, or the hold, but Jared had never been kissed goodbye before.

 

\----

 

“Stop wiggling Jensen!”

The Vetehinen looked up from the rig Jared had put together, eyes strangely blank and distant.

“I am not ‘wiggling’ the wind is blowing me.”

Jared blew sharply to get his bangs out of his eyes, and then Jensen was touching down into the choppy water, and Jared let go of the rope and breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn’t joking about Jensen being heavy.

“Ok, so, how do you wanna do this? Want me to just drop anchor for a few minutes and see what you bring back?”

 Jensen floated in the water, and Jared watched with increasing concern as the gaze never wavered and Jensen’s mouth stayed firm and straight. Usually he would have cracked a joke by now, smiled, something to indicate that he was pleased with the circumstances and Jared by extension. Or just by Jared.

“There is a heavy concentration of shrimp in that direction, just a little ways, and that would be the best place for you to cast your nets.” Jensen pointed and then sunk a little further down into the water, chin taking shots from the little waves.

“Will you find me or do I need to get the nav readout and come right back to this spot?”

Jensen’s tongue flicked out, eyes darting away finally for just a moment before they settled back on Jared’s face, and that was when it hit him. When the icy fist gripped his heart and clamped down.

“Catch your shrimp Jared. Return to your home. Forget this happened.”

For a moment, one hideous and all-consuming set of seconds, Jared thought this was a prank. He had, after all, explained them to Jensen and then spent a week getting shaving cream delivered to his face via tentacles. But Jensen’s eyes told him it wasn’t, and that was a little bit too much for Jared.

“Please. Jensen, I don’t understand. What’s happening?” He was leaning over the edge of the boat, water displacing it enough that Jared was in serious danger of falling, but that was the least of his concerns at the moment.

“In your world you said being a Taikuri made you a freak. Is this not true?”

Jared swallowed hard, the word delivered just as he had heard it as a child. A thing he’d told Jensen.

“Yeah. Why?” And if it sounded like he was about to cry? Well why not. Wouldn’t that just be the cherry on top of Jared’s Shit Sundae of a life?

“In my world those legs make you one. I am the prince of a proud people Jared. I cannot be mated to a freak.”

And then he was gone, beautiful face slipping beneath the waves and leaving Jared with nothing but the screams on his lips and the salt-water on his face.

 

\------

 

It was because he didn’t answer his phone for two weeks. That was the only explanation for his godmother sitting on his couch and staring at the wreck he’d become. Jared was too drunk to edit the story, or to care how insane it made him sound.

Aunt Sam was humoring him pretty well though.

“So then he just took off and left you here alone?”

“Yeah. Because I’m a big old freak. Which ain’t news, but damn if I didn’t think a man with tentacles would avoid the f-word.”

Aunt Sam worked her jaw for a moment before taking his chin and tilting his face up so they were looking into each other’s eyes.

“You sure you love this prince? Really love him Jay, not just like him or want him?”

There were the tears again, the hand that he’d known since he was a child softening its grip and stroking his skin gently in comfort he knew all too well.

“I love him. I love him more than anything, and I never thought I- but he doesn’t love me. Couldn’t. Missed too many days of trawling so I’m done here. I’m just gonna crawl back home with my tail between my legs and hope I can get some construction work or something.”

His aunt wrapped him in her arms, pulled him in tight, and Jared let himself be held like a baby as she shushed him and comforted him.

“Jared, baby, I promise you that if you really love him this isn’t over. I promise.”

Except it was. He couldn’t afford the apartment, couldn’t afford to just ride out to that spot every day and wait in case Jensen changed his mind and popped back up above the waves. He couldn’t anymore, and that was all there was.

And with that Aunt Sam helped pack his things, and he rode back to San Antonio with no hope for the future left but that it wouldn’t include any more tentacled heartbreakers. Or tequila.

 

\-----

 

The bar was small, old, and everything in it was tough enough to survive Jared’s flaws. He was far enough away from the stage that he rarely ever upset any of the amplifiers the constant barrage of classic rock cover bands and local country singers dragged in every Friday and Saturday. He barely knew anyone, and he liked it that way. He’d saved up enough money to rent the apartment above the place, and on his two nights off he listened to the conversations that floated up and imagined he was a part of them.

Which was as close to interpersonal relations as he got these days. His aunt called on an almost daily basis, but Jared wasn’t terribly interested in answering most of those calls so many of them went to his old answering machine. His mother and father called less frequently, once a week, but their messages were just as worried as Aunt Sam’s. When they had Megan call him that was Jared’s breaking point.

He informed them that he was simply working things out, and that he wasn’t on the edge of some deep break or imminent suicide. There was no reason to guilt trip him into answering the phone. He followed that up with his own guilt trip by subtly suggesting that they were setting back his progress.

Which would have been true if he was making any.

Except every night when Jared laid down in the surprisingly comfortable bed that had come with the tiny apartment all he thought about was how much more comfortable he’d been cramped against the wall with his head awkwardly on Jensen’s shoulder.

And he realized it was stupid, crazy, nonsensical love that made him think the neck pains were romantic, or that it was totally alright that one of them had incompatible anatomy, or that love could conquer any distance and separation, even that of age and species.

Because it couldn’t.

Because life was real, and reality dictated that when you chose a person to love you picked someone with similar aspects and characteristics so that love could survive. Otherwise the two of you burned out, and that was what the fairytales and the romantic comedies forgot when the music swelled and the screen dimmed. That the future of the stalwart businessman and the manic pixie dream girl, or the plucky commoner and the elegant princess, was ultimately one of heartache and ruin.

Opposites only attracted to a point and human and sea creature seemed to be that point.

It was alright though. Jared could get by, and while he didn’t necessarily enjoy the solitude or slinging drinks for a group of people who would probably find his sexual preferences, men not tentacled sea creatures, disgusting to the point of violence he got by. He kept to himself, and that allowed him time to compartmentalize everything that had happened to him, and to work his way through it.

Or so he thought, until a familiar voice requested a glass of “the amber liquid that makes you a fool.”

When Jared looked up from where he’d been fiddling with the tap he saw Jensen. _In a shirt_. To be specific he was fully-clothed, but the shirt was the first thing that caught his attention and so foreign to his treasured and hated memories that it stole anything he might have been able to say and reduced him to simply uttering a noise before dropping his rag and standing.

“Is that not the proper etiquette? This is my first bar.”

“You’re wearing a shirt.”

“I have been informed in polite society humans always wear shirts.” He plucked at the material before looking back up at Jared. “It’s unfortunate.”

“They’re not that-what the fuck are you doing here? In a shirt? _With legs_?”

“Shirts don’t have legs.” Jensen’s lips curled into a sardonic smile, eyes bright and lively. For the first time it inspired something other than butterflies in Jared.

“Get out.”

The surprise that flashed in Jensen’s eyes, along with the hurt, shouldn’t have affected Jared the way it did, and that only made him angrier.

“What?”

“I said get out. I don’t want you here in my bar.” Jared caught Aaron the bouncer’s eyes and nodded to Jensen.

“But I- Jared I came for you. I am human now so that-“

“You know what a fairytale is Jensen?”

The green eyes widened, lips parted on an indrawn breath. “I know that fairies are-“

“Fake. Or shit, considering what you are maybe real, who knows? The point is that I’m no pretty princess and you’re no charming prince. I’m a socially awkward wizard and you’re a tentacled asshole. Or formerly tentacled. You get my point. So sweeping in here and making jokes doesn’t mean the music swells and I fall into your arms. It just means you’re wasting my time and salting my wounds. There’s your ride.”

And then, as Jensen tried to stammer something out, Aaron dragged him from the bar.

 

\----

 

Three days later Jared woke to a pounding on his door. He managed to crash out of bed, sheets tangling with his pajama pants as his Aunt practically screamed down his door.

“Jared Tristan Padalecki you open this door this instant young man or I will break it down! Do you hear me?”

“Coming. I’m coming.” His feet felt like lead. The last couple nights after his shift ended he’d managed to stagger upstairs before drinking himself into oblivion. His body was reminding him at the moment that he was the biggest idiot on the planet, and the banging was not helping.

The door creaked, and his aunt’s fist missed his face by about an inch.

“Boy, what the hell-are you hung-over? _Jared_?” His aunt looked just as put together as she always did despite the anger sparking in her eyes.

“I’m old enough Aunt Sam. What did you need at-“ he looked at his watch and winced. “Four in the afternoon?”

“Take a shower. Jensen and I will wait.”

And that’s when Jared noticed him, eyes downcast and freckles standing out against his flush. Just as handsome as always, and twisting Jared’s gut in ways he was unprepared for.

“Aunt Sam I don’t want-“

“You will shower, you will come back not smelling like sweat and cheap booze, and then we will discuss what you want. I love you dear, but you’re being pig-headed at the moment and it’s unacceptable.”

Jared had never been very good at telling her no. Instead he headed to the shower, threw on clothes, and came out toweling his hair and barefoot with Jensen staring at him hungrily and his aunt smiling indulgently.

“Jay, honey, I’m gonna tell you a few things now and I want you to listen. When your parents chose me to be your godmother they had no idea that I was one of the Fae.”

He opened his mouth, but she cut him off with a gesture.

“I did my duty as I was supposed to. I blessed you to be lucky in love, because that’s what they wanted, and I balanced that by taking away your luck in basically every category available. That may not seem fair to you, but believe me when I say the majority of the population would kill for the opportunity you’ve been given. And I doted on you too much, rubbed off on you in ways I shouldn’t have and then never explained it to you or stopped to make it better. That was my fault, and I’m awfully sorry about that. All of that aside, now you got a gift and you got a man. Enjoy them.”

Jensen’s hands were clenched tightly in his lap, legs twitching in a rhythm Jared recognized as a toned down copy of his tentacle movement.

“Aunt Sam you don’t understand what he did. He was-“

“Awful.” Jensen’s voice sounded wrecked, throaty and sad, and Jared felt himself blinking back his own tears at the sound of it. “I was awful to you. But you have to understand you were telling me all these things about human life and relations and you had this look on your face. This _longing_. Jared I wanted to tell you I loved you too, and that I would do anything for you but what kind of life could I offer you stuck in your tub and incompatible with your physiology? There would be no dancing, no long walks on the beach under moonlight, and no future other than you bringing me shrimp and changing out my water. I could not do that to you. It killed me to hurt you, to leave you, but it seemed the only way.”

It was the little lip quiver that did him in, the way that mouth he’d kissed so many times shook with the force of the repressed tears as Jensen said exactly what Jared had refused to allow himself to hope.

“So when you said he broke your heart I went down there to take him out, and found out he’d just been a foolish little squid-“

“I am not a squid.”

“Shush boy. He’s human now. And he can spend as much time as you want making it up to you, but don’t string him on too long because I’ve been waiting twenty-one years to see you be as happy as I’d like you to be.”

Jared licked his lips, darted his eyes between the two of them for a long moment, and then settled back into his chair.

“So, I have two obvious questions. What do y’all want for dinner, and where are your wings Aunt Sam?”

His aunt still hit as hard as she had when he was little.

 

\-----

 

Jared made it to five dates before whatever lingering anger he had left was gone, and he was too wrapped up in how happy Jensen made him to care about what had passed. Every day they didn’t go out Jensen came to the bar, acquiescing to Jared’s request to keep a low profile by mingling with other patrons instead of simply sitting in front of Jared and mooning all night.

And he _was_ mooning, no matter how much he argued that such a thing were beneath him.

Jensen radiated love, infused it with humor and the childlike exuberance he had for every single aspect of his newfound life as a human being. Everything fascinated him. Nothing seemed to get him down. When his first try at driving a car ended with destroying the front bumper of Jared’s old truck Jensen apologized and then asked if he could go for one more round of the parking lot. When he found out his new legs were “bowed” through a series of increasingly insulting jokes from bar customers he asked Jared if he could learn to ride a horse, to “earn them.”

He spent a good portion of his time away from Jared in libraries, college classes he apparently snuck into, and movies.

Jensen watched _a lot_ of movies.

Jared had finally replaced his old TV, and the new set was just as snowy, but between the two of them Jensen could load the VCR without the tapes getting partially erased, and they could watch together to their hearts’ content.

Jared was informed that movie nights didn’t count.

The dates were elaborate rituals, dinners and events, thoughtful and romantic touches, each one more fitting for some fairytale romance. And in the moment Jared loved them, but this one made it perfectly clear that he was ready for the roses and the horse-drawn carriages and the violinists to _stop_.

“Jensen?”

“Wait. Wait Jared there are supposed to be fireworks and I cannot figure out why they haven’t-“

“Jensen. I need you to look at me.”

And he did, eyes sparkling in the moonlight, slight tension in his mouth at either the lack of fireworks or the seriousness in Jared’s tone.

“Is this a bad talk?”

“No, it’s just- where are you getting the money for all of this?”

Jensen’s eyebrow lifted, and then he smiled brightly. “Why, I did not come from the sea empty-handed. What sort of prince would I be without treasures?”

Jared swallowed at that, took Jensen’s hands, and then found what he hoped was the right way to word this.

“I don’t want this anymore.”

His boyfriend’s face crumpled, hands tightening on his.

“Jared I will do whatever you want if you simply do not-“

“Oh no! No, not like that. Shit I’m sorry Jensen. Not like that. I mean I don’t want these dates anymore. They were sweet, and I love your theme, but I’m not looking for a fairytale. I told you this wasn’t one and that wasn’t a challenge.”

Jensen’s head tilted, eyebrows arched and voice laden with disbelief.  “I am missing something. This is what everyone in your culture wants, is it not? Romance and magic? A story that Disney would turn into a feature-length film?”

He reached up, cupped Jensen’s face in his hands and pulled him in for a kiss.

“It’s nice in theory, but in reality those stories are just about someone, usually a young girl I’d like to point out, that’s unhappy with their life and longing for something else. Those relationships have no chance in the long-term. That’s why the stories always end after they get together. No one’s going to have a healthy relationship based off of meeting in a coffin or asleep in a tower. I don’t want that Jensen. I want to bitch at each other about dishes and settle into a life with sweat pants and sex and burping. I want a real relationship with you, _despite_ you being a fairytale prince not because of it. Do you get that?”

Fingers tangled in his hair, and Jensen pulled him into a kiss before resting their foreheads together.

“I do enjoy sweat pants. And burping.”

“I know you do. So can we skip the canned romance stories and just go home, fuck until my legs are weak, and then fall asleep?”

Fireworks began to pop off in front of them, lighting the sky and casting Jensen’s heart-breakingly beautiful face in light and shadow.

“Of course. That sounds perfect.”

And that’s what they did. Barely through the door Jensen had Jared’s belt undone and his pants unbuckled, and then Jared found himself bent over the couch with Jensen’s tongue trailing up his thighs and along his asshole. Strong hands spread his legs wider and scruff rubbed against the tender flesh as Jensen’s mouth slicked the way for his fingers.

Jared, for his part, moaned and cried as he tried to get a grip on the upholstery of the couch and his toes dug into the dingy old carpet. Sometimes he wondered if Jensen’s self-made lesson plans included porn, because he doubted rimming was standard fair in the Vetehinen community.

When his cock was fully hard, leaking against his stomach and no doubt staining the couch, Jensen’s mouth left him and then Jared felt the slick head of Jensen’s cock pushing into him and spreading him open while rough palms slid up and down the length of his back.

“Jensen, oh fuck yes. Yes. Fuck me hard.”

And like always, Jensen gave him exactly what he asked for. He set an almost brutal pace, thrusts lifting Jared’s feet from the floor and pushing him awkwardly over the back of the couch and his hands pulled Jared back into his movements. His prostate was pegged randomly, the edge of his orgasm approaching rapidly as the couch gave his cock added friction and Jensen’s soothing voice grounded him.

“That’s it. That’s it Jared give it up to me. So pretty like this, my Taikuri, so well spread on my cock. Begging just like I like you to. Now come for me, come on my cock.”

Jared twisted, arched, and then he was releasing onto the couch, one hand flailing until it found Jensen’s thigh and gripped hard while the other slapped at the seat of the couch as if that could make his brain work to tell Jensen properly how much he enjoyed this.

He was weak and boneless as Jensen rocked his way through the last of his own orgasm, warmth spreading through him as Jensen filled Jared’s ass and slowly softened inside of him.

Somehow they made it to the shower, and from there the bed. Jared’s head rested comfortably on Jensen’s chest, listening to the strong beat of his heart and the whooshing of his breath. When Jensen spoke it rumbled through Jared’s ears and vibrated against his cheek.

“Are you happy Jared?”

Jared couldn’t help the smile, the slight undercurrent of concern in Jensen’s voice displaying a lack of self-esteem Jared would have initially thought impossible.

“Yeah. Yeah, man. I’m really happy.”

Fingers carded into his hair again, moving slow and soft against his scalp and through the length of it.

“Do you wish for anything else?”

“Wish? No. I mean, well, uh sometimes I-“ The flush overtook his face and Jared trailed off before he said something he’d regret.

“What, Jared? Speak it and it is yours.”

“I don’t think you can promise that.”

“I can promise anything. Between the two of us and your aunt anything is possible.”

“Dude, don’t mention my aunt when we’re in bed and naked, ok?”

A low chuckle and Jared’s head was pressed more firmly into Jensen’s chest.

“Noted. Now what are you missing?”

“Well, I mean the sex is great Jensen, like really great, but sometimes I-I miss your tentacles.”

Silence reigned for a long time, and then Jensen tilted his face up and looked down so they were making eye contact and Jared knew Jensen was only focused on him.

“Funny you should say that. It is actually related to what I was going to ask you. Is there any chance that we could move back to the shore and go back to hunting for shrimp?”

Jared licked his lips and tried not to show his apprehension.

“Do you miss the ocean?”

“Yes. But more importantly, your aunt informed me that my transformation is temporarily negated when I enter sea water.”

He would not cry. He wouldn’t beg or plead because that was ridiculous and he was an adult.

“So you want to go back to being a Vetehinen?”

Jensen’s eyebrow arched, confusion written clearly on his face, and then recognition dawned and he bent awkwardly to kiss Jared’s forehead.

“Jared, the same way you are always Taikuri, whether you use your powers beyond lifting beers to yourself or predicting when to carry an umbrella, I am always Vetehinen. My interest in the ocean is simply because it is my home, and I believe you were happier there. _We_ were happier there. I am not looking to leave you Jared, but if you wish to… _enjoy_ my tentacles again then a dip in the sea will allow for that.”

“You want to be shrimpers and have tentacle sex in the ocean?”

“Is that so strange?”

He thought of all they’d been through, all that waited for them, and then Jared pushed up enough to properly kiss Jensen on the mouth. They stayed that way for a while, lips sliding gentle and sweet, and then Jared pulled back and gave Jensen the same intense stare he’d afforded him a moment before.

“No. Not strange at all. I’ll put in my two weeks tomorrow.”

Jensen gasped, eyes wide. “You can bend time Jared?”

He fell asleep laughing.


End file.
